


My garden of shadows

by AnnaCipactli12



Category: Terminator Genisys (2015)
Genre: F/F, F/M, Father-Son Relationship, Gen, M/M, Multi, Sibling Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-12
Updated: 2015-09-19
Packaged: 2018-04-20 08:11:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,823
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4780148
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnnaCipactli12/pseuds/AnnaCipactli12
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Four years after John took his children, Kyle is told that he might get out of the mental institution he was placed after his wife's death. But will he like what he succeed in saving the only two people he has left -or will they show him another ugly side of a future far worse than he could have ever imagined?<br/>Follows 'Time's come to play' and 'Through all the pain and sorrows'. (I suggest you read those stories so you can understand this one).</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Look right through me

_ _

_"Couldn't save you from the start_  
_Love you so it hurts my soul_  
_Can you forgive me for trying again?_  
_Your silence makes me hold my breath_  
_Time has passed you by_

 _Ooh, for so long I've tried to_  
_shield you from the world_  
_Ooh, you couldn't face the freedom on your own_  
_Here I am! Left in silence_

 _You gave up the fight_  
_You left me behind_  
_All that's done forgive ahead_  
_You'll always be mine_  
_I know deep inside_  
_All that's done forgive ahead_

 _I watched the clouds drifting away_  
_Still the sun can't warm my face_  
_I know it was destined to go wrong_  
_You were looking for the great escape_  
_To chase your demons away_

 _Ooh, for so long I've tried to_  
_shield you from the world_  
_Ooh, you couldn't face the freedom on your own_  
_Here I am! Left in silence_  
_You gave up the fight_  
_You left me behind_  
_All that's done forgive ahead_  
_You'll always be mine_  
_I know deep inside_  
_All that's done forgive ahead_

 _I've been so lost since you've gone_  
_Why not me before you?_  
_Why did fate deceive me?_  
_Everything turned out so wrong_  
_Why did you leave me in silence?_

 _You gave up the fight_  
_(You left me behind)_  
_You'll always be mine_  
_I know deep inside_  
_All that's done forgive ahead"_

_~Forgiven by Within Temptation_

John didn't believe in destiny. He'd seen what happened when you obsess too much about the future. Looking down at his sister, he saw what he'd been searching all his life.

He lifted her and put her on his lap and whispered in her ear about all the new things she and her brother were going to do in their new school. "Will daddy come?" She asked, flashing her beautiful sapphire eyes. "I miss daddy."

"I know but daddy has to learn his lesson."

"How long? I want to play with him now. I don't like the new baby-sitter. She is mean." John knew he didn't like her, but he couldn't afford to hire a new baby-sitter when the last one had cost him more than he bargained for. "I want a new one."

"John can't afford a new one, sweet heart. You will have to do with this one. And" he said before he left her, "don't kill this one."

Annie giggled and John closed the door behind him. She showed her younger twin her new toys when he came home from school. "Why weren't you in school? Mrs. Robinson was asking questions about your new pet project. What is it?"

"I can't tell you yet. It's a surprise little brother."

"Little brother?" Patrick said, with a chuckle. "You are just older than me by two minutes."

"It doesn't matter, two minutes is two minutes." His sister said, showing her flawless smile. Whenever she did, she took everyone by surprise. Because she could do just about every terrible thing anyone could imagine, but that smile made everyone forget about her atrocities. "I will let you in if you promise me something."

"Anything." He said. 

"You'll convince John to take us to see daddy."

Pat sighed. 

"Please?" She said in begging mode, her eyes large, and her hands together as if praying. 

"I-I will see what I can do but I can't promise you anything."

~o~

"Reese you have visitors."

Kyle was led to the visitors' room. He was no longer deemed 'dangerous' by Silberman so he could finally receive visits from his children. He expected to see John with them, but to his chagrin it was his wife.

"What are you doing here?"

"Put a lid on it Reese, you are on probation." Silberman said coming into the room. "Mrs. Connor such an honor. I told your husband it was too soon to bring the kids here."

"My husband thought the same thing but they are eager to see their kids and who am I, to say no? Doctor can I..." She looked at Reese then at the Doctor and the Doctor got her cue and the two left the room. Two security officers moved closer to the Reese's seat.

Anne was unsure what to say. Now that the day was finally here, she didn't know what she should say first. Should she tell him about all the new dolls and dresses she had or the last four Halloweens where she got to dress up as her favorite Disney princesses? She took Patrick's hand and told him (using their mental connection) to speak first.

"Hey dad ... I uh ... convinced John to bring us here. They said, you are doing better. I am glad. It means you will join us soon right?"

"Yeah ... yeah it does son." Kyle said in a sad voice. He didn't know how to feel watching his two children together, holding hands, more together when they'd always been fighting.

 _Maybe John did something good for once_ -he thought. "Is John treating you good?"

"Yes. Everything is fine. Things with John are fine."

Kyle nodded again, looking around at the other families. He knew most of the people in the institution and odd as it sounded, he had formed good friendships with some of them. He saw John Johnson. His cousin was a security guard here and you'd think just because he worked here, he'd have access to better food and less beatings from the guards but that's not how Doc Silberman worked. The people he hired were as stone-hearted as that asshole. Marcia Wallis was there too. She was a twenty year old whose mother was a whore and Kyle didn't think that lightly of any person but for her mom, it fit just well. The woman was none other than a local congresswoman who advertised herself a crusader for justice and she used her faith to gain more followers. Most of them didn't know that she had a kid or that said kid was here because she disagreed with her mother over the baby she was forced to bear.

In the war, when he was nine or ten, he got his first bicycle from the ruins of LA. His dad helped him fixed it and showed him how to ride it. He got one of his own, and the two would ride for hours end until their mother would be going crazy, screaming their name outside LA where the HKs didn't go and when they finally came, she would ask them "Where the hell were you?" and they'd say "In the Mountains, didn't you see us? We were above the clouds" and she'd laughed because she knew that amidst all the chaos he and his father were still dreaming and that meant something. It meant that the machines hadn't won -and they'd never win as long as the human spirit remained.

That was all relative now. When John became the unique model and injected Sarah with that nano-shit, he created a new era where the AI wasn't separate from the organic. Nobody would know the difference between androids and humans anymore. Kyle didn't know how to react to that, though he did know one thing and that was that no matter what species you belonged to, every time feelings were involved, all the good ones brought with them, the bad ones too. The people in this place were here because society despised them. Marcia could go to the press any time. Hell! Kyle even offered to drop her story to the papers once he got out, but it was that emotional attachment she had to her mom -the same he had with John and his children- that made it impossible for her to take revenge.

"Dad?"

Kyle broke out of his train of thought by his son's voice.

"Yes?"

"Are you really getting out?"

Kyle nodded, pressing his lips so tightly together they formed a thin line. He wanted to take the two guards out, grab their guns and take his children away, but he had to be pragmatic about this. He had to wait for the right moment when they'd least expect it.

In the meantime, he'd give Anne and Patrick hope. Especially Anne, he saw how she constantly shifted in her seat while still holding her brother's hand. The two were very different. When they were told they were expecting twins, he and Sarah were making bets on how different they would turn out like them, and instead grab on their parents' traits but to their astonishment they came out different with Patrick taking after Sarah and Annie after him, but the two of them had his eyes. Dark blue.

Kyle looked into his daughter's eyes and saw nothing of the sorrow or pain that he saw in Patrick's, he saw nervousness but no regrets. Did she know -he wondered- what she'd done? Did she have any regrets?

What a stupid thing to ask -Kyle thought. Of course she didn't. Whatever happened, it had been John's doing. He'd done something, he and that witch Karen, that made Annie do what she did.

He lowered his voice. "Annie, you look really beautiful. Are you wearing make up?"

"Yes, Kate helped me put it on. I missed school last week. Patrick said not to tell you but I am working on a new project. I am going to be elected class president next year."

"Really?" Kyle asked, with a small smile.

"Yes, John says that I am doing really good and he has a new nanny with us. Mrs. Bates is really good, she is from England but I don't like her. She is too mean, she is mean to Patrick too."

That caught Kyle's attention and he turned to Patrick. "Have you told John about this?"

"Don't pay any attention to Anne, dad."

"Patrick!" Annie pouted taking her hand from his and crossing her hands. Before she threw another temper tantrum, Patrick took out a doll from her Barbie handbag and gave it to her. 

"Patrick be nice to your sister. I want to hear all about this. Isn't Kate or Karen looking after you? I don't like John leaving you with strangers."

"He's not leaving us with strangers dad and Mrs. Bates's just strict. We are fine dad, really."

Kyle sighed. He was happy to hear that, but he didn't like the idea of his children being raised by strangers.

What the hell was John thinking? 

"Anne."

"Anne!" He raised his voice, drawing attention from some of the guards who gave him a warning glance. 

"Sorry." She said putting her doll down. 

"It doesn't matter. You must promise me to be very careful with your powers. You can't be doing what you did to your ..." his voice broke and he looked away so they wouldn't see his pained expression, then when it passed he turned to them again. "mother. You must be very careful. Promise me you will."

"I will." Annie said quickly, picking her doll again then added "But John doesn't think it is a bad idea I use them again."

Kyle furrowed his brows. "What do you mean again?" Annie just shrugged. "What did you to Anne? Have there been others? Where are they now? Anne, answer me!"

"Alright that is enough for now." Silberman said coming into the room with Kate. "Mr. Prescott put Reese escort him back to his room."

Kyle didn't have the chance to ask more as they pushed him out of the room, and he turned his head briefly to see Kate whisper something in Annie's ear that made her giggle, then kiss Patrick's cheek.

It took every ounce of self control not to scream at her. He remembered what Sarah told him. Remember who you are. And lowered down his gaze as he sat in his bed and looked down at his hands.

He had been so close to losing control and proving everybody that he was everything they said.

There were times that he wished he was. It would be much easier to cope if he was crazy, it would be less to take in for him and his family.

 _Where are you when I need you Sarah?_ He wished he could have a time machine of his own to fix all this mess, but he knew better.

Things were never going be the same. They changed history and they paid a price for it.

 _My children will grow up with their father, with that machine as their surrogate father instead_.

That machine was his son, but he couldn't see John as that anymore. He spent more than half his life, fighting the machines, willing to risk his life for her and everything they stood for so when he found out that John willingly sent him back, knowing that he was going to die, he was heartbroken.

 _If only you had told me that you were my son John! I would not have held it against you! You were my friend, I loved you!_ And God help him, he loved Sarah Connor. He had never been with another woman, because every woman paled in comparison to his best friend's mother.

It was sick and twisted, and the few who knew him thought he was out of his fucking mind for fixating on a woman who had been dead for years but goddamn it, he couldn't explain it (at the time). But there was something special in her eyes that made him feel all these range of emotions that he didn't feel around anybody (including with John).

She was special, so when the chance came to meet her, the great legend, he rose to the occasion and volunteered.

It was suicide but he believed John's words. "This will end the war".

"I was so stupid." He said to himself. He stood up and paced back and forth across the room. "Sarah, I really need you right now. You would've known what to do. You never gave up ... you were everything they said you were to be and yet you weren't." he gave a dry laugh. "It is really funny ... John said you would be a waitress and your greatest battles would be making rent and tuition. I expected to find a vulnerable woman but I found you. I don't think I would have loved you less if you were vulnerable ..."

In the security room, the officers chuckled. "He's talking to himself again. Maybe we should play the violin."

"Brought one."

"Don't be a smart ass Johnson." Anderson said, laughing with the others. "Oh look he is now hiding."

"Nah, it is another phase, it will pass. Last time he hid his face in his hands for half an hour. I bet he is going for less."

Kyle was going for more. He did not want to face this new world. A world where he had to see his children being raised by his one time friend and son turned enemy, but most of all, a world where he lost them like he lost John.

_I failed him._

He could have saved him. If he had only acted sooner. John said that he was always fast to react, but if he was, John would still be human and he wouldn't have to worry about his kids being turned into him.

Sometimes he saw John in his dreams asking him with an accusatory glance and voice _'Why didn't you stop me from turning out this way?'_ and the only answer Kyle had for him was 'I am sorry'. In all his dreams, he saw Sarah at the end, floating, struggling to breath as their daughter continued to press on, unknowingly causing her death. And in all of these, he was unable to save them in time.

_You gave up the fight._

"I did." He had been so lost these past four years without seeing his children, and seeing Sarah only in his dreams. The police had taken everything, and he had asked his parents and the other him in this timeline if they could sneak in a picture of her, but they were unable to without being arrested or held under contempt.

John played this beautifully. He had to give it to him. John always knew how to get scotch free.

 _I was the sacrificial lamb and I couldn't see it. All this time ..._ He closed his eyes. He had been given a sign from Sarah; she'd told him he had the opportunity to do what they failed in every timeline: Take back the future and end this once and for all.

* * *

 

Mrs. Bates took the doll from Annie's hands. She didn't mind the girl's temper tantrums. She was a nine year old and what nine year olds needed was discipline and if her parents weren't brave enough to give it to her, then Mrs. Bates was going to.

It was her job after all and she didn't get this gray hairs and work with some of the most powerful people in the world, looking after their brats, by being scared of their children's idle threats.

What worried her was that the children were exposed to that kind of lifestyle that would have made many of the English elite frown. Master John brought with him his wife, and that other woman. The detective (what was her name?). She didn't care. It wasn't her job to care but it did make her frown.

And she tended to spoil the boy too much. She had warned Master Connor against this but he didn't listen. He was enamored with the idea of being a parent that he let his wife and mistress spoil them as much as they wanted to.

Christina took off her apron and went to the living room, telling Patrick it was time to go to bed. He nodded and followed her reluctantly. When she went back to the living room to wait for the Connors, she turned off the lights, preferring to watch her favorite programming in the dark.

As she did, the TV went off and then went on again. Strange sounds were being heard.

"What the-"

The TV went off again and she saw several sparks come from the wall where it was connected to.

The sparks flew in her direction and made strange images, until they formed words.

'Get out!'

She took her bag and made for the door but she couldn't open it. She took out the card and slid it, but the door remained closed.

Annie came from her bedroom, holding her favorite doll, hugging her close to her chest. "Is something wrong Mrs. Bates?"

"Annie get back to your bedroom, child! And call your father!"

"He is not my daddy. He is my big brother."

"Not another one of your lunacies. If you continue like this, they will lock you up just like your father."

"My daddy is not going to stay locked up forever. He is going to get out and when he does, he is going to be very proud knowing I took out the enemy."

"What?" Could it be? All those stories she heard at the agency of strange things happening at the Connor household. Could they be true?

She blinked, she was imagining things. That was it. It was mass delusion. 

Annie giggled. "What is that Princess Aurora?" She asked her doll putting her face to her ear. "Take out her too? But John said we shouldn't. Oh well I guess you're right."

"Annie stop this game right now or I swear I will-"

"You can't do anything. You have to do as you say and if I tell you to jump off a window you will do it, right?"

Against her own will, she nodded.

"Get out and never come back, or I will be very upset that you talked bad things about my daddy again. Go!"

She didn't need to be told twice, the woman ran as fast as her legs could carry her, never once looking back.

 


	2. Monster

_"Ever since I could remember_   
_Everything inside of me wanted to fit in_   
_I was never one for pretenders_   
_Everything I tried to be just wouldn't settle in_   
_If I told you what I was_   
_would you turn your back on me?_   
_and I seemed dangerous_   
_would you be scared?_   
_I get the feeling just because_   
_everything I touched is not dark enough_   
_that this problem lies in me_

_I am only a man with a candle_   
_I am taking a stand to escape what's inside me!_   
_A monster, a monster_   
_I've turned into a monster_   
_A monster, a monster_   
_and it keeps getting stronger_

_Can I clear my conscience I am different from the rest?_   
_Do I have to run and hide?_   
_I never said that I wanted this_   
_This burden came to me_   
_and it's made its home inside_   
_If I told you what I was_   
_would you turn your back on me"_   
_And if I seemed dangerous would you be scared?_   
_I get the feelings just because_   
_everything I touched is not dark enough_   
_if this problem lies in me_

_I am only A man with a candle to guide me_   
_I am taking a stand to escape what's inside_   
_A monster, a monster_   
_I've turned into a monster_   
_A monster, a monster_   
_and it keeps getting stronger_

_If I told you what I was_   
_would you turn your back on me"_   
_And if I seemed dangerous would you be scared?_   
_I get the feelings just because_   
_everything I touched is not dark enough_   
_if this problem lies in me_

_I am only A man with a candle to guide me_   
_I am taking a stand to escape what's inside_   
_A monster, a monster_   
_I've turned into a monster_   
_A monster, a monster_   
_and it keeps getting stronger"_

_~Monster by Imagine Dragons_

**"Power is Power" ~Cersei Lannister GOT 2x06**

_**It's been a while since I could say I am sorry. I felt that since John turned into a machine, he betrayed all the ideals he claimed he stood for. All the fights, all the battles we've won, they turned into nothing. It is like they never existed, and in a way, they were. But deep down, John is still the same man he always was, scared and hoping he can reboot the future, hoping he can get his mommy back.** _

_**It is a kick below the best, but he needs to have a few kicks before he realizes what he's doing is wrong. If Sarah were here, she wouldn't have hesitated on pulling that trigger on that son of a -** _

He didn't know how to finish that sentence. How can he really call John? Son of a bitch -when his wife is the bitch? 

Perhaps she is. She taught John everything he knew. He had seen many programs to know that what she'd done to prepare John, was wrong by today's standards. Hell, ti was wrong by their standards and they lived in a post-apocalyptic future where everything goes, and where John was not averse to executing a human being if he found him stealing from them, or worse, selling them to the machines.

He sighed and supported his head on his knuckles, with his elbows on his desk. Silberman had arranged so every patient had access to one of these, and in a weird way he thanked him because it made his time here seem less pointless.

Sometimes he would come and look at his writings and shake his head, telling them that if he wanted him to talk to the authorities, he had to do something more to convince him he was sane. Writing about post-apocalyptic futures and robots was obviously not helping, and neither was meeting O'Brian. But O'Brian was the one who came to see him, not the other way around and he was thankful for that because the goofy cop helped him get his message across.

"John came to the police station today." O'Brian told Kyle when he came to visit him the following morning. The future soldier rubbed his temples. 

"What did that son of  ... what did he say?" He asked, refraining himself on time from saying the latter. He could not think of John as anything else for the same reasons he thought the day before, and the day before that. If Sarah had only trained him to be more empathetic instead of the cold, emotionless, manipulative person that he was than maybe, just maybe, humanity would've stood a chance.

But she was Sarah Connor, legendary mother of the future who thought that you needed brute forced because God only knows, that the best way to fight violence was with more violence.

He was tired of this. He wanted to end this loop once and for all. But what could he do besides complain? He had to find a way to get out of here and fast. Sarah had told him that he had to fight, that he was Kyle Reese, soldier of the future. That was who he was, whom he would always be and he accepted that, for their children's sake.

O'Brian shrugged. He could see the anger from the younger man's eyes and he couldn't blame him. He was excited when he and Sarah told him to be godfather to their twin boys. The two expected to give birth to the future John Connor and do good by this new version of the savior, but when they found it was twins, they were nervousl.

They knew what fate had in store for John, but where did these two fit in the equation?

Eventually, they let go of their fears and embraced parenthood. O'Brian came every weekend to bring gifts to the kids. The girl was a true extrovert and daring like her mother, while the boy was silent and thoughtful like his father.  As they got older, it became clear that nothing was normal with those two. O'Brian thought it was his poor eyesight. He began using contacts so when he didn't bring them with him, he thought his vision was playing games with him when the girl's doll levitated four feet above her. He shook his head and came the next day and found to his shock, that he hadn't been hallucinating. Playing on the merry-go round "Pops" and Kyle had constructed for them, the girl replicated the experiment, this time with her other dolls, smiling as she did this.

He told Kyle all about it, and he asked him not to tell Sarah. But it was too late for that. Sarah heard everything and got angry, and took the two kids inside and told them never to do that. Needless to say, they got mad and Annie began yelling and crying, and Kyle had to step in and calm her down.

While Sarah was all about being in control, Kyle was about spoiling his kids rotten. Largely because he has grown up in a crappy future and he wanted his kids to have the kind of life he never got.

O'Brian understood this very well. He had a son of his own he hadn't seen in years. And after what Kyle had told him, he was more determined than ever to fight to secure his future.

"He is throwing more money at senators and the commissioner so they pull me off this case. I am sorry, but now that Miles Dyson is dead and his kid is the new CEO of the company along with Connor, there is no way I can convince the judges of putting the kids in foster care with your parents."

"What about the other me? If you can find me a new lawyer and convince him to-"

"I've tried Kyle but nobody wants to take this case and your present lawyer tried to convince Judge Ramirez, but the Judge was very clear. Your ... well you, younger you, I mean ... He is not parent material."

"What do you mean? He must be what? Twenty one. I've seen plenty of parents at twenty one on that shit show on TLC."

"The parents from nineteen kids and counting have money and lobbyists and their kids are celebrities thanks to that, so they can do whatever the hell they want; younger you is twenty one and despite his good marks and graduating early from college, he is not married and his psychological profile is a mess."

"Why?" Kyle demanded, then a thought struck him. "Did Silberman have something to do with this? He did, didn't he?"

"Silberman didn't have anything to do with this, Kyle. You did. You two are related, as far as anyone knows you are distant cousins and the same madness that runs in you could run in him. No judge will ever agree to leave your kids with him. I am sorry."

That night Kyle beat his fists against the mattress _Damn! Damn!_ His back was hard pressed against the wall. The only way on getting out of here was destroying what he wrote and admitting he was crazy. But doing that, would mean betraying everything he stood for (just like John) and he would burn in hell before he did that.

He had to wait for the right moment to break out. Kyle closed his eyes and dreamed of Judgment Day, Sarah, John, the kids and he was assaulted by a new memory of his wife, smiling at him while he tried taking a photo of her and their newborn twins who were fidgeting in her arms.

 _You are in this for them Kyle._ A voice said. Sarah and Pops tried their best to 'fix' them and that only made the children resent them, and Kyle got nowhere with his near-suicide attempt. 

The only way he was going to win this, was by getting his children back, and by his children he meant all of them. Otherwise, the same thing would happen again where John would start a new apocalypse where humans would become the very thing he had been fighting to destroy.

"I am going to get you back Annie and Patrick." And John, he thought, keeping that thought to himself in case John hacked the surveillance system. "I promise."

And Kyle wasn't going to break his promises. He had failed Sarah. He wasn't going to fail them.

* * *

 

Annie played with her favorite toys. Today she was learning how to control her mind, and the mind of others without being too overwhelmed by their thoughts. Patrick was special when it came to getting people to act against their own self-interest without using his powers. At her school was one girl who loved to bully everyone and lately she had taken a strong dislike to her, so after her lessons were over, Annie made it her mission to teach her a lesson and when she got into her mind she found very interesting things, starting with the dreams she'd been having of the other lives she'd lived.

She led her to an abandoned building they were going to demolish and got her to confess everything.

She looked down at the wretched woman below. She was crying and begging for mercy. "As my brother's wife begged you for mercy when you betrayed her to the machines?"

"What?" She asked. What was this crazy lady talking about. She hadn't done anything.

"Oh no, but you will. I can assure you that." She said, adding: "Surprised that I can guess your thoughts? Those are not guesses honey, I can hear every thought. The human mind is no closed book for me. You are thinking right now of running, reaching for my gun and shoot me in the head but trust me it won't work. I am too fast for you and you are too slow."

"What are you?"

"I am what your people made me." She told her, and with her eyes turning bluer, she watched the woman ran across the room, trying to outrun her demons. "That is what you get for messing with my sister-in-law. I hope you learn your lesson Elizabeth Shaw. Now do be so kind and jump out the window."

The young woman screamed as the thing she feared the most came walking to her and seeing no other way to escape but through the door behind her, she walked right through it.

Outside, people turned and screamed as they saw a young woman jump from a fifteen floor building and crash land on the pavement.

Annie watched with interest as the police came and put her body in one of those awful body-bags they'd put her mommy and countless others in.

She went back home. Patrick was already there. The furniture in his room was floating, as he was while he was painting his favorite subject. "I didn't hear you come in. Where is Elizabeth?" He turned and saw her grin. "God, please don't tell me that you didn't off her too."

"It wasn't my choice. You should have seen what she did."

"Annie, you know the rules. John can't afford another dead girl."

"I am not bringing him a corpse of dead girls and it is not my fault when he is not letting us do what we want. Besides, we will be sixteen in a month which means you know what."

"That's no excuse."

"No? Look at us Pat. 15 and then 16 and we will never grow old. I do not want to live like this. Haven't you ever wonder what it would feel like to grow old, to be ... normal?"

"All the time but I am not stupid enough to go around venting my frustrations at random."

"You have killed before. Come on, you want me to remind you of-"

"Don't say it."

"Fine." She said throwing her hands in the air, walking up. "But don't come crying when you take our dad."

"It won't come to dad. Dad is never going to get out, and even if he does. He is not going to do what mom would have done in his place."

"Perhaps but he could kill our brother." That stopped Patrick. "You don't want that, do you?"

Patrick shook his head. Of course he didn't. John had given them a future to look forward to and he made him and Anne feel normal, in a way his parents never did. If John died, their future died with him.

Annie got nearer and whispered in his ear. "Do you think he would though, if he knew about us?"

"John doesn't know about us, why would dad know?"

Annie shrugged. "He could suspect. He gave us that look, last time we visited him."

Patrick was all aware, the way he spoke to them, told him that he suspected. Patrick did not want to admit it, but his father's approval still meant something to him.

"When are you going to finish that painting of me? You have been at it since forever."

"Soon, I just need to adjust some stuff." Patrick said and gave her that secretive smile she knew all too well.

The two, along with the furniture, got down and with the door closed and locked behind them, they wrapped their arms around each other and kissed.

* * *

 

Kyle ran as fast his legs could carry him. After he took out clothes from the storage where he and Sarah had left most of their stuff in case something were to happen someday, he stole a care from the parking lot and followed the trail of crumbs O'Brian and his other self had left for him.

He identified John's house immediately. It was outside San Francisco and it was as beautiful as he had imagined it would be. He got out and making sure he wasn't being followed, he loaded the gun with the magnetic bullets.

It was now or never.

He had seen in the news the people murdered, the people who had disappeared and one of them had been one of his former neighbors from the room in front of him. Marcia. Who had been so happy when she was finally out, that he felt stricken when they put her bloody face on the TV.

He knew it was Annie. There was no other explanation. His son had always been the quiet one, while Annie was always like Sarah and John. Not afraid to do what they believed had to be done in the name of progress, or in the case of Annie, in the name of fun.

As he got closer he heard someone and when he turned he felt something sharp. He bit his tongue. It was there again but it missed. Struggling to get up, he grabbed his gun and fired, aiming at the head. He succeeded. The cyborg fell to the floor, bleeding that grey stuff that John bled the first time he had been shot by the T-800.

He was shocked to see it was Kate. He sighed. John was going to kill him (literally). He heard something behind him and he didn't bother being distracted this time, he shot her too square in the head.

"Sorry John." He said more to himself than to his former friend who had yet to arrive. He was ready to face the consequences. He didn't care. It had to be done. Just as John always said.

Coming to what he assumed was Patrick's bedroom from what O'Brian had told him when the other him went to spy on them; he knocked.           

...

"Patrick?"

...

"Patrick it's me. Open up."

Again, pure silence.

He got tired of waiting and putting his gun under his belt, he kicked the door. What he found, shocked him.

"Dad? They let you out already?" Patrick's head came from underneath the covers, his hair was a mess and his whole face was covered in sweat. Whether that was fake sweat or a projection to give them the feeling of normalcy behind their act more real, he didn't know. But all he knew is that nothing could have prepared him for this.

"Get out of there, now!" Kyle yelled taking his gun and pointing at his son. Powerful or not, he wasn't going to let him control him this time.

"Dad, please let me explain."

 

"I said get out now!" 

Patrick got out and Annie followed, grinning at her father. "So now you know. It must be very disappointing, knowing your own children are the very monsters you were trying to destroy."

"Dad, please put the gun down and let us talk. I know how this must look to you." Patrick said walking to his father and raising his hand as if he was dealing with a small child. Kyle hit him in response.

"Stop it!" Annie screamed, her eyes shined a brighter blue and a dagger flew at him but Kyle anticipated this and moved away. Annie was surprised by this and tried again but to her surprise, her father had better mental shields.

"Do not try that bullshit with me Annie. I am not your mother. My mind is not a place you want to go in, trust me." He didn't want to go in there himself. "You two come with me."

"Where to? After you killed Karen and Kate? You expect us to go with you?" Kyle raised his eyebrows. "I did not have to read your mind, it is obvious if you are here."

"Just get in the damn car or I will put a bullet through your skull sweetheart."

"You wouldn't dare."

"Try me." Kyle said taking his gun faster than she could say 'stop' and shooting her in the stomach. 

Annie dropped to her knees and screamed, clutching her waist. "Anne, oh god, Anne. Anne, look at me. Are you-"

"I am fine Patrick ... Help me up."

Patrick swung her arm around him and helped her walk. "Let her walk on her own."

"She can't walk!" Patrick screamed. Had his father gone mad? Didn't he see the pain his sister was in? "Dad, you have to let me help her."

"No." Kyle said firmly, aiming straight at her. "She walks or she stays here. You can walk, right Annie?"

Annie nodded her head weakly, struggling to get up, still clutching her waist.  

"Can you at least let me hold her hand? She might need my help to get in the car-"

"You are not touching one hair of her, understood?" Kyle said, gritting his teeth.

Pat nodded weakly then turned to his sister who said "It is okay Pat, I will be fine. Do as he says, I will be behind you."

"No, we will be behind you." Kyle said.

Annie grunted and began walking, fully aware that if she tried something their father would either shoot Pat and then her, and with the time it took them to heal, it would give their father enough time to escape.

They had to look away from the wreckage of what had once been Katherine Brewster and Karen Martinez. For Patrick it was the hardest thing to watch. These women had raised them, especially Katherine who was always there when they needed her.

Once they got to the car, Annie was happy to feel her body at work and begin the regeneration. Sadly, she didn't get to enjoy that because her father shot her again. 

"Bastard." She hissed.

Kyle didn't pay her any heed, he turned his head briefly at Patrick who opened his mouth, trying to find the right words to explain what he saw, but he closed them, afraid it would only make things worse.

John had once said that Kyle was so predictable and that was true. He was thankful that Patrick was as predictable as him, otherwise his plan would have failed.

As long as he maintained Annie wounded, he would be his. Kyle squeezed his hands against the steering wheel. He wanted nothing more than to beat his fists against his son's face.

 _You know it is not his fault this time._ His conscience told him, and for once he agreed. This wasn't John's fault and neither it was Kate or that witch Karen. It was his.

* * *

 

John stared one last time at the wreckage. He didn't have time to mourn. Pushing a strand of hair away from her face, he kissed her lips one last time and placed her in their bed. He didn't have time to mourn. Kyle wanted to play war, he got it. Except this time, he was not going to take any prisoners.


	3. Down in a Hole

**“All around me are familiar faces**  
worn out faces, worn out faces  
Bring and early for the daily races  
going nowhere, going nowhere  
and their tears are filling up their glass …  
Hide my head I want to drown my sorrow  
no tomorrow, no tomorrow

Kyle is looking deeply at her daughter. She can see a flash of anger that reminds of John when he is angry at the technicians at the lab. “Well you must’ve known it was going to happen. It isn’t like we were discreet or anything.”

“Annie not now please.”

“What? I’m going to shut up just because daddy dearest has a gun pointed at my head. I can just freeze him (literally) Duh.”

“Just try it Anne, please try it and I will put a bullet through your head or better yet on your mouth so you shut up for once.”

“Same old dad.” She says, giggling. “You know I tried to save mom. It’s not my fault she didn’t want to play with me.”

Kyle tries not to hear her.” You could have saved her if you just listened to Pops. John told me everything that happened. I can listen to my brother’s thoughts just as I can listen to John and talking to Patrick is like talking to me.”

“Your brother or your lover? Since when-“

“Since we were eleven.”

Kyle nearly spits his coffee. “Hey careful! Just because I can shape shift doesn’t mean I want you to spoil my jeans.”

“Eleven? You were just children.”

Anne shrugs, she can’t understand what the big fuzz is about. “We have seen things that would paralyze you, things that you do in every timelines where you die. Things that mom does … It’s a blessing that I killed her. She would have killed us if she found the full truth of what we are.”

“You are her children, were her children. Jesus fuck! You are siblings! This isn’t normal.”

“Nothing about us is.”

“Did John know?”

“No. It would have destroyed him. Kate suspected and she tried keeping us apart, but John wouldn’t allow it. He said we were stronger when we were together.”

“This is not –whatever … When John gets here I am going to tell him everything and when he gets that look on his face, then we’ll see if you’re smiling again.” He says and walks away, turning on the magnets around the room that will prevent them from escaping.

Kyle shakes his head. Did he suspect? Did John knew about this? No. John would have never risked his reputation, even for his siblings. Kate knew however. Why didn’t she tell John?

Damn it Kate. She was always very protective of children, even when John chastised her for not watching over their kids. The loss of their children destroyed John, but it made him more determined to destroy Sky Net. Was there ever a moment –Kyle wondered –where John wasn’t hindered of his happiness by fate? Was he? At least Kyle knew some happiness. There were many women who threw themselves at him, but he told him he was too busy for them. Truth was, he was saving himself for the “one”. The one true love, Sarah Connor. At the time it sounded ludicrous and outright strange and he always had to hide his mother’s picture but he couldn’t help being drawn to it. What was she thinking? He always wondered, and then it was war. The sounds of explosion and people, screaming, begging for the Resistance to help them.

 **“Children waiting for the day they feel good**  
happy birthday, happy birthday  
made to feel that ever child should sit and listen

“For what is worth John, your dream of making your mother happy became true.” For a while. Who knew that his daughter would be the one who robbed Sarah of her life?

He guessed he always knew. Initially they wanted to call her Sarah Anne, but Sarah was against it, instead wishing for something different. They chose Anne because it was the name of a saint that his mother worshiped in his time and in this timeline.

When they held her in their arms, they felt the luckiest parents. And his parents were ecstatic to be grandparents. His father said that it was taking him time to adjust to this, but he was proud to see the man he would grow up to become. He was talking of the young Kyle. Kyle did not want his parents to impose that big responsibility on his younger self. He wanted younger Kyle to be his own man and forge his own path.

Besides, he joked with them that he didn’t want to have another love-sick Kyle in love with his wife and force her to decide for one or the other when she got bored of one. They laughed and Patrick, his father, patted his back then rocked his newborn daughter. His mother had their son in her arms. He named him after his father and the most celebrated Irish saint.

He’d liked to think that they didn’t suspect anything either, but he would be lying to himself.

Inside the room, Patrick managed to break free. His wrists were bleeding, black resin pooling out of his wounds.

“Quick.” Annie urges him. “Patrick I can’t hold it any longer. I swear if you don’t break these restraints. Ah! That hurt!”

He sliced off a part of her hand, but she barely felt the pain. As soon as they were off, her skin healed. She then turns to Patrick who’s wrists are still bleeding. “Patrick …”

“It doesn’t matter Annie. The important thing is we are out.”

“The magnets are still on, we won’t be able to get out unless we push through that door and that could kill us.”

“We can combine forces. Remember when we did that in last year’s senior’s prom and had that bucket of hot sauce dumped on Mabi Williams?” They laugh at that and concentrating all their efforts on the door, their pupils growing larger, it starts to move and then it flies off.

“Come on, this is our window of opportunity.” Her brother says and the two start running, Annie never letting go of his bleeding wrists.

Before they make it out they come face to face with John.

“Thank goodness! John, we were just about to call you when-“ Patrick is caught off guard when John slaps him and falls to the ground.

“John! What the fuck is the meaning of this?”

Her sister is at his side, helping Patrick get up. John says nothing but instead moves his head and their dad comes in, holding the same gun he used to neutralize them.

**“Went to school and I was very nervous**   
**no one knew me, no one knew me**   
**Hello teacher tell me what’s my lesson**   
**look right through me, look right through me**

_“Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t kill you now Kyle?”_

_“Come on John, you know you can’t kill me. You could’ve killed me at the hospital when you released me and Sarah but you didn’t. You could have killed me at the cabin but you didn’t either. You won’t kill me now.”_

_“You didn’t kill my wife and lover then.” John says bluntly but as his father predicted, he puts down the gun and his other arm which shifted into a blade takes back human form._

_“You couldn’t stay put, did you Kyle? You should have just stayed there, I was going to get you out.”_

_“I needed to see my children.”_

_“You saw them now give them back.”_

_“They are not your property John. They are nobody’s property. You took them from me and Sarah!”_

_“You had no right to them. If I had left you with them, they would’ve grown ashamed. They have no reason to be ashamed, they are special and I have made them feel-“_

_“You’ve turned them into monsters, spoiled brats like you are acting right now. Take one good look at them John and tell me if you don’t see something out of the ordinary.”_

_John cocks his head then smirks. “You are bluffing.”_

_“So you’ve heard the truth too? I thought so. Kate was always too smart, she would have never lied to your face. She was right John. Everything they say about them is true!”_

_“No!”_

_“Your legacy, my legacy is a lie. Look!”_

_He shows him the video he got from their room where he is currently keeping them. Apparently they had gotten free off their restraints (for a while) before Kyle turned the power up._

_John screamed inside. Patrick shed his clothes and Anne did the same, the dust particles enveloping them, leaving nothing but their nude selves._

_“I love you sister.” He whispers in her ear passionately. He kisses her earlobe then moves down to her neck, biting it, and roughly going down and down._

_John can’t bear it. “Turn it off.” He says and it is off._

_He takes a chair and throws it across the room. Kyle can see anger and hurt in his eyes, but more than that, frustration._

_“Hurts doesn’t it?” John turns to him and raises his fists but lowers it._

_“Turn the power down, I want to see them when they escape.”_

_“They won’t escape. The power is up.”_

_“Turn it down Kyle.” He says with a tone of finality that Kyle recognizes all too well and he obeys._

**“And I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad**  
that the dreams in which I’m dying are the best I’ve ever had  
I find it hard to tell you, I find it hard to take  
that when people run in circles  
it’s a very mad world  
Mad world …  
Mad world …”

“How dare you? You have any idea what you’ve done?”

“We were going to tell you John, we swear.” Pat says. “Anne and I are mother than brother and sister, we are twins, you have seen how-“

“Don’t give me that bullshit Patrick! Kate might have forgiven you and Karen might have swallowed it. I won’t!”

Pat cowers but then steels himself and ignoring the pain surging through his body as the nanites start to work on repairing the damage the magnets inflicted, he rises. “I am not going to abandon her. She is my sister and whether you like it or not, this is who we are.”

John narrows his eyes, they’re blazing with fury. Patrick doesn’t look away, he faces his brother. John turns to Kyle and tells him to shoot.

Patrick screams and Anne loses consciousness; John stares at them with disgust. He remembers when he told Kyle everything would be ok and held him in his arms. He was about twelve or something, right after he found him. The boy idolized him and asked him if they were going to kill them.

“Come here Kyle, nobody is going to hurt you.”

“But they are out there.”

“Have I ever told you the story of the father lion and his cub?” The boy shook his head and John began telling him the story. Afterwards Blair came and told them that everything was great.

“You must think this is really funny.” Kyle complains when the two are in the car. They hear groans from the back-seat.

“I am finding a lot of funny things lately but they aren’t. As soon as we head back, I will get them separated.”

“You can’t fix them John, Patrick nearly killed himself for his sister. They are not going to be separated.”

“They will.” John says, confident, never turning back.

When the two wake up, John surprises them by telling them that they are going to mop up Kyle’s Mess and put the two in separate boarding schools. It won’t stop them, they threaten but to show them how serious John is, he shifts his hand into an arm-blade and for a second Kyle thinks he is going to hurt them and raises his gun at them, but instead he strikes him.

“Dad!” The two scream. John’s arm shifts back into its original form and he stares at his siblings straight in the eye. “I won’t accept no for an answer Anne, Patrick. We are a family and everyone who isn’t us is the enemy. Now clean this up.

John was right. He always won.  And no matter what timeline he came from, his father always died young and he was always there to pick up the pieces. Except that now he had siblings to look after, and their descendants –unknown to John then- will create a whole new set of problems in the new world where humans will live in, thousands of years after Earth was left behind.

John watches over this family, this dynasty. That decimates towns and takes over people’s homes and kills those that oppose them. John is proud at first, their intellect, their capacity for survival is not natural and some say it is because of the gods but John knows better.

But as things progress, he sees that the same affliction that took over his siblings, have taken their descendants. One twin couple’s love affair has condemned the nation and John just stands there, hiding in the shadows, watching as everything comes to dust. And when the time comes to save them, he decides to step back and instead, let another descendant take back what was hers by fire and blood, and kill the last remaining descendant. But when he arrives to the resting place of one, he finds she is still breathing and instead of begging him to save her, she remains still.

He gives her the choice that was never given to him: “Do you want to live?” He asks her. Five simple words, an opportunity to be part of something special. Something that he had given his parents (her ancestors as well) and they refused. He expects her to say yes right away, but she doesn’t. She ponders, gives a slow nod then takes his hand.

Blue eyes, shining brightly, ivory skin, wavy blond hair. She is as fair as John and Kyle once were, as his mother once was from a picture she showed him when she was a child. The two disappear from the scene, walking endlessly, watching everyone pass them by while they remain the same.

Myrcella. Former princess, former lady, doesn't ask him much. Instead letting him talk until one day she asks him about her ancestors, about the 'old world' before it was torched by human poison. He doesn't tell her much at first. He tells her about the cities people built, the beliefs they had. Then one day he reveals everything, including her ancestors and why he chose to spare her.

She embraces him and tells him that deep down, she always knew who he was since he became her steward and she is happy to know that the dreams she has were not a sign that she was crazy. She is only sad that the rest of her family is dead.

Kyle was like this with him. He was always receptive to John, though his adoration of him grew into hatred when he found the truth about him, and then when Sarah died, he couldn't take the madness anymore.

John likes to fool himself that he freed him from his pain but Myrcella knows better. It is not Kyle he freed but John. As long as Kyle lived, John was a prisoner of his past. Killing Kyle, was his last test to prove that he wasn't a prisoner of fate. He tried turning the younger Kyle. As he got older, he visited him more and it became fairly obvious what his intentions were and when they tried to end it, things got pretty bad.

"Where will we go from here?" Myrcella asks him when they travel to the Yiti-Kingdom. Her voice returns him to the real world where he focuses his attention at her again.

She is insanely beautiful and it is a wonder why she didn't have many boys chasing after her as her mother did at her age.

"We have eternity to think about that. We don't have to worry about that now, do we love?" She nods and smiles. And her smile reminds him of everyone he lost, her ancestors -his siblings, Kyle, Sarah- Kate, Karen. And what he still has and for the first time in a long time, John smiles a genuine smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, this last part ties up with 'Through all the pain and the sorrows'. Myrcella is a descendant of John's via his twin siblings and ironically the 'affliction' as John calls it, that took over his twin brother and sister got to Myrcella's parents (who are also twins). John did have some sexual attraction to the younger Kyle for reasons that I leave you guys to let your imagination fly; as for Myrcella and John and whether he feels attracted to her -I leave that up to you.

**Author's Note:**

> I listen to a lot of music, one of my favorite songs is Mad World and that largely inspired this chapter along with Forgiven by Within Temptation; and my favorite novels that offer some of the best characters, fictional and imagined. One of the things that I learned while studying history and writing for my blog is that nothing is impossible when you're dealing with the human mind. And that's why I love writing about these characters because they are so messed up, but they're also so compelling that you get to empathize with them, the more you learn about them. It's not all black and white.


End file.
